Look, people… stop being afraid to say what you’re thinking, … what you really feel!

When she asks you “does my bum look big in this?”, don’t be afraid to say “yes, but that’s because you’ve got a big arse, love;- it’d look big in anything, you know?” (and possibly tack on “of course, you know I like it that way…”)

When she asks “do you like my new haircut?”, don’t be afraid to say “no, it makes you look like a lesbian. I used to think that lesbians were hot, but you just arsed that one up for me, didn’t you? Nice one, thanks! … Oh, I’m being sarcastic by the way. Had to tell you that, as girls don’t recognise sarcasm. Y’know,… just like Americans”.

And if she ENDLESSLY asks you about turning that engagement into a marriage, when the debts are going to be cleared, when you’re going to “make good on that commitment”, because Christ she’s been waiting forever – starting about a week after you put the fucking ring on her finger, … then run… run now and run very fast.

That’s all the advice my drink-addled mind can currently give. Why I feel the need to give advice right now, I don’t know. And by the way – DO, please note that my advice right now is probably worth precisely fuck-all

I’d kill for a pack of cigarettes. I’d do bad stuff for just one.

Ain’t gonna happen though!

And now for another excuse to have a picture of scantily clad females on the blog!

From Fox News comes the story that a study conducted by the Katholieke Universiteit Leuven in Belgium has shown that men influenced by sexy stimuli such as women in bikinis become more impulsive.

Well, duh!

The details of the study, published in the Journal of Consumer Research, show that men allowed to fondle t-shirts and bikinis (not on females at the time) placed more value on the present and less on the future. Researchers conclude that there is one common appetite system in the brain and when its stimulated, it wants to be rewarded.

Apparently though, this increased impulsiveness is not due to the common idea that men are more sexually distracted, – but it’s due to their arousal causing improved cognition and creativity.

Oh yes.