The recent entry of “Dustin the Turkey” into the Eurovision on Ireland’s behalf raised a question which I hadn’t considered before but which is still vital all the same and definitely needs answering.

It’s a question which I know has been in many people’s minds and on many people’s lips since the first few lines of “Irlande Douze Points” eminated from the crooked tuneless beak of Ireland’s favourite avian entertainer that sad sad day in May…

And that question is… DOES TERRY WOGAN WEAR A WIG?

Well, while plenty of people insist that he does and Wogan’s own comments (”What would be the point of me having one if I was going to tell you?”) sort of hint that he does wear one, have no fear, for a HOT CHICK brings us the definitive answer!

And she’s not just any hot chick either, – this fine looking young lady is Jane Wogan. She’s done some kids TV here in Ireland, and now wants to do what Davina McCall does and “throw herself out of helicopters”. Yes. She says she’s “bang up” for all that stuff. (I’m sure you are, dear…)

Oh, and to top all that, she’s a niece of that famous Limerick born radio and TV star and, in an interview for mens mag, Maxim she said this (among other things):

‘As soon as people realise my family connections the first thing they ask is, ‘Does Terry wear a wig?’ So before you ask, the answer is no he doesn’t.’

Glad that’s settled, then…

(What was the question again?)

Predictably enough, Dustin the Turkey’s “foul” entry in the Eurovision song contest fell at the first hurdle this evening by not qualifying from the first semi-final, in Belgrade. Come on, anyway,- who really expected him to go all the way?

There were actually clearly audible “boo”s from the crowd after the performance of this pathetic novelty act which honestly either puts Ireland’s fine musical traditions to shame (in front of a TV audience of 200 million people) or simply sticks up two fingers in jest towards the Eurovision itself (- or possibly both… I’m not sure), but I’m glad he’s gone out at this stage and is saving us further embarrassment.

Here’s the performance itself:

Already the “backlash” has begun with web sites springing up in Dustin’s defence, such as this one, which asks:

“How could they say no to THAT?”

Answer: Quite bloody easily, in all fairness… as the “song” was complete and utter drivel.

Somehow I don’t think the “Europe said NO to Dustin, lets say NO to Lisbon” campaign will get very far… Anyway, the only European competition I want to see us win this week is the Heineken Cup. G’wan Munster!