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Wandered down to our local community leisure centre today as there were supposed to be some jewellers there who wanted to BUY EVERYONE’S GOLD FOR CASH. Ahem. Anyway, the fuckers didn’t turn up, which was a shame ‘cos I’ve an engagement ring to offload.

Heading back up, I stopped off in the coffee shop to buy a bottle of water… it was a warm day today. The shop assistant, a foreign girl, looked at me for a couple of seconds and asked “Have you been to Tibet?” … to which I answered, “eh, no…” and she says “ah, my friend there. Fair play you for wearing t-shirt supporting them!”.

Of course, she never read the small print…

I was wearing this t-shirt:

“Tonight beats the shit out of last week”, I said to our goalie during our football match tonight. And I was right… because last week I generally played shite, … giving the ball away a lot and even going as far as to score an own-goal.

God, I was terrible.

Tonight though, I netted myself 4 great goals. That’s four. Yes, FOUR. It’s a hat-trick PLUS ONE. And it made me feel DAMN good

In fact, I was looking for the right word for it,- if there is one. I know two is a brace and obviously three is a hat-trick… but is there a word for four? A double brace? A topped-hat-trick? I’m putting it all down to one thing – EVERY week so far I’ve worn an Ireland shirt (the one with the silver lining that I won in a Carlsberg competition), but this week, due to a laundry mishap (or, I guess you could call it a “wardrobe malfunction”) – i.e.: my Ireland shirt wasn’t washed… I had to wear this: (see picture).

The sweat-soaked 1978 Argentina football shirt sitting on the floor next to a mic stand and a litre bottle of Bulmers. (Click photo to enlarge)