“Tonight beats the shit out of last week”, I said to our goalie during our football match tonight. And I was right… because last week I generally played shite, … giving the ball away a lot and even going as far as to score an own-goal.

God, I was terrible.

Tonight though, I netted myself 4 great goals. That’s four. Yes, FOUR. It’s a hat-trick PLUS ONE. And it made me feel DAMN good

In fact, I was looking for the right word for it,- if there is one. I know two is a brace and obviously three is a hat-trick… but is there a word for four? A double brace? A topped-hat-trick? I’m putting it all down to one thing – EVERY week so far I’ve worn an Ireland shirt (the one with the silver lining that I won in a Carlsberg competition), but this week, due to a laundry mishap (or, I guess you could call it a “wardrobe malfunction”) – i.e.: my Ireland shirt wasn’t washed… I had to wear this: (see picture).

The sweat-soaked 1978 Argentina football shirt sitting on the floor next to a mic stand and a litre bottle of Bulmers. (Click photo to enlarge)

You see, every week I play indoor football on a Monday night in my local community centre. It’s only a kickabout, and while I’ve been gradually improving, I only do it for the fun of it and for the good of my health – although some of the lads there take it incredibly seriously. Anyway, I’m usually disappointed with my own performance, but tonight I’m absolutely buzzing…

Nevermind the fact that I was transferred halfway through the match from one opposing team to the other. Nevermind the fact that that shirt retains about 4 times as much sweat as that magical silver-lined Irish one – the 1978 Argentina shirt is now my lucky football shirt and I shall TREASURE it.

I mean – seriously – if I can turn it around from playing shite, gifting the ball to the opposition and actually scoring an O.G. to netting FOUR super goals (one of them a crafty downward header into the left corner, another a volley hammered home from about 1/3 of the way out and the other two being gentle taps from easy crosses) – well I’ll stick with that shirt from now on.

Hooray for things that make me feel good about myself! \o/

I needed that…